but seriously. was saying goodbye to finn not just the most heart wrenching thing? oh, and every cast member's genuine emotion just sent me over the edge. especially, you, lea michelle. and matthew morrison. and naya rivera. but i digress.
our little life has been so beautiful lately, i can't believe i am not chronicling it. and maybe i should clarify. it isn't the everything-is-going well, rainbows, butterflies, and rays of sunshine beautiful. it is much more beautiful than that. it is a beauty found in the darkness. found only in the craters of our hearts. only in the spaces no one wants to go.
our family has been through some turmoil as of late. "some turmoil", to say the least. on top of many other things, i have been mourning (what i thought was) reality as i enter a new step in adulthood that i was not expecting. moving 2 miles away from my parents has been much harder than moving to alabama or to montana. i always called this little white house with columns and a green door "home". now i call it "my parents' house". i realize most people my age have gone through this, but that doesn't make it easier or less confusing. i take a step back from my mind and am astonished at what this season of life has dealt me. life was supposed to be easier once we moved to tennessee, right? things make sense here; this is home, right?
nope.
however, this flashed across my screen a few weeks ago:
oh, how it turned my heart a million different directions. i have heard the theme of this story from so many in my life, and i am beginning to write my story with this lens. a lens of beauty, of abounding grace, of unfathomable mercy. of all those churchy words that you don't really understand what they mean until you feel them. i pray every one of you (all, what, 2 of you?) reading this will find that lens in times of pain and sorrow.
God is so good, He's so good to me.
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